Broken

Yesterday my sister sent word that the end may be imminent…..

My wife and I talked to understand what this means,

what this means to me.

Is this the final call to answer the bell?

What does all this mean, to be honest

I’ve never been more unsure,

this is all so unclear, I can’t tell.

Whenever I am in search,

I look to wisdom of the past that may

help me, help me understand the

right way to take.

“Have the courage to follow your heart

and intuition, they somehow already know what

you truly want” – Steve Jobs

What I wanted for years

was a father

what I want now is to not to be

bothered……

I don’t want to remove my gaze

from the beauty that’s grown

in heartbreaks place.

I’ve spent so much time running,

constructing a defense

impenetrable to these pains.

My whole life I’ve wondered why

my father never cared enough to find me,

I never wanted to go to him.

I wanted him to initiate the action.

When I look at our children

it is a complete mystery

how a father could bring a child into this world

and never share in their life’s history.

My father gave me one gift in his departure.

I learned that if it is to be, it is up to me.

This case is no different, if it is to be it is up to me.

The question is will I regret the decision I make?

Two paths diverge, which one to take?