Last Year, Tonight

Last year, tonight, we were standing on the ledge of a new beginning.  A new beginning that would change everything in our lives, this beginning was the beginning of life for our daughter Cleo.  Last year, tonight.  My wife started labor for I think around four hours.  I say, “I think”, because I was sleeping through it all.  Over the years and labors my wife has realized that I really offer very little, and thus she did the hard work while I was asleep.

But just as soon as the labor came, it went.  By the time I got up in the morning we went about our routine of getting everyone ready.

From stars we came, to stars we will return.......

Always listening...

Last night we were in the midst of a conversation about anything and everything in the kitchen...  I don't quite remember how it was all going, but what I do remember was when Oscar said that he knew who I was.....

You see for a while now I have been on a journey, it would be appropriate to call it a spiritual journey.  But mostly it is a journey of the spirit.  Almost all of my free time goes to this journey.

It's a journey of the eastern philosophies, Buddhism, Hiduism... Really heavy into Alan Watts...

And I have been dropping comments from time to time around the house about some of the ideas that resonate with me.

I never thought Oscar was really listening.

Until I he answered when I asked him, "who am I"?

He said, "nothing".

I laughed, perfect.  Absolutely perfect. Satori at 7.

One of the great ones.

Just a word of warning to anyone who might read this.

I am feeling the writing bug coming back, so stay tuned for a flurry of my writings.

Until then.

We just had one of the great ones.  One of those weekends, the way they should be.  Full, just bursting at the seams full.

Full in a way that years ago I could have never dreamed.  I couldn't have been wise enough to dream a dream so beautiful.

I'm still not wise enough, but I am damn sure lucky enough....

Full, in the way that you kind of laugh, and in the next breath, almost cry.

It's a feeling I tend to have.  It's grounded in the notion that I couldn't have done anything, anything, to deserve the grace that my life knows...........

It sends me every time, that thought.

In that moment, there aren't words, but it is what we call thankful.  It's more than that though.

When I was 15 I had the good grace to meet the most dynamic force my life has ever known.  It makes me laugh, and almost cry to realize that somehow......... Somehow, the sweetest dream comes true for me every moment of every day.

In a way, this song has the same idea, I hope you enjoy.....

Stay tuned.  More coming soon.