Reminded..

This morning as I loaded up our children for what I thought would be a treat for them.. Dad taking them to school, because my wife always takes them.  I thought this treat was so inherently awesome that there wasn’t a chance that it wouldn’t be received well by our children.  That was until, until my daughter asked me in her beautifully innocent voice, “Dad, are you driving us to school”?  Yes I said, yes I am.  I just knew she must be as excited about this break from routine as I was…

Immediately she burst into tears, “I want mommy to drive us”, she said.  In those moments as I tried quickly to soothe her, in those moments I remembered that she is three years old, that routine gives her security, and that sometimes she just wants her mom.  Beg and plead as I might, nothing could or would change her mind, or stop her tears.  As we backed down the driveway the tears continued to flow.

I still took her, and her brothers.  It was a modest attempt at a Friday morning gift for my beautiful wife.

Instead the gift was mine, it was our daughter teaching me that she is three, and sometimes she wants things just as she wants them.  I was reminded to respect the complexities of her inner world, and cherish every moment.

Our Daughter

Our daughter has been sick for a while now.  I think I finally learned the secret to get her to eat, Cheetos!

1st Tooth

1^st Tooth Lost Pulled-

Oscar was so brave as he lost his first tooth.  It is really unbelievable how fast he is growing.

Before

During

After

 

 

 

 

 

The Littlest of Men

The Hurry

Somehow, some way,

what I want got in my own way,

changed the words as they came,

they weren’t what I meant to say.

They didn’t stay true; somehow they were out of tune.

What I want is this:

I want your heart so full of joy that it’s about to burst,

I want your face to smile so much that it is always that way,

I want your stomach to be a little sore from laughing,

I want you to feel the purest of joys, always.

What I said was this:

Please eat your breakfast,

Please start eating your breakfast,

Please eat.

And this continued for long enough.

Long enough to realize that you weren’t hungry.

But you have medicine to take,

With an empty stomach, it might make your stomach ache.

Please eat, something..

I want you to eat your breakfast.

When you finally ate what I thought was enough,

It then became I want you to put on your socks,

Put on your boots, your coat, your scarf, your beanie.

Then I want you to grab your backpack.

I want you to open the door, let’s get on our way.

I want you to make sure you have everything you need for your day.

As I look back, all I hear are the words I didn’t say, as I rushed, pushed, and forced you on your way.

The words I didn’t say, your words that I didn’t stop long enough to listen to, really listen to.

The words I didn’t say. 

How are you feeling, how did you sleep?

Are you excited for school today?

What are you thinking, what did you dream of?

All questions I made no time to ask.

What I want is this, I want you to know that I love you and you are a million times more magnificent than words could ever convey.

That just scratches the surface of what I want, and what I wanted to say.

This day like so many you are kind enough to teach me, in a most forgiving way.

This lesson I learn can only be repaid one way,

by letting things come as they come, and go as they go, tomorrow, and every day.

Easing off the accelerator that sometimes carries me away.

Expectations

All too often I am reminded of the cost of applying expectations to moments.

In my mind I set these traps for myself, and when things go awry, so do I.

These traps take the form of expectations.

When I expect, I forget.

I forget that things have their own rhythm, their own way of unfolding.

I forget to take the time, to make the time,

to just be.  Just be..

Let things come as they are,

and go in the same way.

You can’t push the river as the saying goes.

When I try to push the river,

I am the one who knows..

You can’t push the river.

Forcing things against their way is the unnatural way.

This is the lesson I am reminded of today.

Someday I hope this will sink in, and I won’t be learning it, again, again, again, again, and yet again.

Bro Hymn

I encountered this song first here:

Ever since I first heard the song I deeply connected with its core message, you stand with me, I stand with you, together nothing can stop us, nothing, can ever stop us.

It also stands as a tribute, a pause, a moment to give thanks and celebrate.

It is how I feel about my wife, how I feel about my children, and how I feel about those close to me.

"Bro Hymn"

To all my friends, present past and beyond
Especially those who weren't with us too long
Life is the most precious thing you can lose
While you were here the fun was never ending
Laugh a minute was only beginning
Canton, Colvin, Nichols, this one's for you

Ever get the feeling you can't go on
Just remember whose side it is that you're on
You've got friends with you till the end
If you're ever in a tough situation
We'll be there with no hesitation
Brotherhood's our rule we cannot bend

When you're feeling too close to the bottom
You know who it is you can count on
Someone will pick you up again
We can conquer anything together
All of us are bonded forever
If I die you die that's the way it is

To all my friends, present past and beyond
To all those who weren't with us too long
Life is the most precious thing you can lose
While you were here the fun was never ending
Laugh a minute was only the beginning
Canton, Colvin, Nichols, this one's for you