Present

Life is only lived when we are in the midst of doing it.

It sounds simple, it really does.

ARE – as in, to be, totally and completely.

No thoughts, no worries, just living the moment.

A simple story occurred to me that illustrates this.

Our baby boy was born November 17^th at 4:13 a.m.

It was at 4:13 a.m. his head first graced my hands, the first hands to welcome him.

The reason for this was because at 4:12 a.m. the mid-wife looked at me and said, dad let me see your hands.  She then placed my hands into position as my wife pushed; in an instant I was holding his head.  I can tell you what I was thinking as his head touched my hands…..nothing, nothing at all.  I was too busy holding his head to think.

If the mid-wife would have asked me at 4:00 a.m. if I was ready to catch our son as he entered this world, I would have wondered if I was ready.  I may have begun to think about whether or not this was a good idea.  I might have worried about what could happen or how it would go.  In other words my mind might have gotten in the way of a once in a lifetime opportunity.  I might have been too busy thinking, and not been present in the moment.

Life is only lived, when we are in the midst of doing it.

It sounds simple, it really does.

ARE – as in, to be, totally and completely.

No thoughts, no worries, just living the moment.

Each moment a once in a lifetime event.

Then There Was Two

On the 2nd night trying to have our oldest son and daughter sleep downstairs in their room, I am proud to announce they both made it through the night!

Our daughter slept the whole night downstairs!  Despite maybe not wanting to as much as her older brother, she did it.

In a way it is a bittersweet time, they are growing up so quickly and our room isn't the same at night without them.  None the less it is an important transition for them and we are extremely proud of both of them!

Growing

Last night was a glorious night in our house.  We had been preparing our oldest son and our daughter to sleep in their bedroom for quite some time.  This time we thought we had a great path, this time it was going to happen…. And the great part is, it did!  Our oldest son slept in his own room all night!!!

His sister had different thoughts; she decided she wanted another night with us.  But she did a great job and before we know it she will also be sleeping downstairs.

A lot of change is surrounding our children; they are very quickly growing up.  The time is moving so fast and the change is occurring even faster.

All we can do is enjoy each step in the journey.

Sink or Swim

Sink or Swim –

Yesterday was our third installment of swimming lessons.  So far it had been a wonderful time to see our oldest son and daughter take on the challenge of being submerged underwater, then the joy of coming to the surface.  It has been a wonderful confidence booster for them.  Ultimately it had been going way too good.  Yesterday we got a good dose of reality.

Our oldest son took to the class and water with excitement.  His sister put on the brakes.  For all the joy her brother was experiencing, she was experiencing hesitation turned in to reservation, turned in to apathy. 

He was in the water having all the fun that the water could contain.

She was watching from the side, giving her mom and dad a different kind of lesson.  A lesson grounded in understanding that we all take steps at different rates, we all progress in our own way.  Causing me to remember the quote, “You can’t push a river, but you can go with the flow”. 

In the end we went with both flows, down their own unique paths.

For Thought..

 

34

Tomorrow I turn 34.  As I look back on this past year it has been an amazing journey for me.  The path continues to lead to more amazing experiences than I could have ever anticipated.  We welcomed into our lives our 3^rd child; who like his brother and sister is a miraculous blessing.  All three of them are a constant source of brilliance, reflecting the beauty of life in all that it holds, and all that is possible.  We are truly blessed beyond the limits of description through words.

My wife continues to amaze me in her beauty and wisdom.  I am humbled that each day I walk the path of life with my best friend and life’s partner.  When I count the many things that I am grateful for in my life, they all radiate from her.  This is not lost on me.

I was finally able to achieve a lifelong goal of mine in completing my bachelor’s degree.  This was something that I was never sure I would actually finish, to have done so is a great achievement for me personally and one that I am very proud of.

All those wonderful and amazing things have filled the past year of my life with an abundance of love and joy. 

At the same time I recognize that the past year also held several moments which remind me that I still have a tremendous amount of work to do to become the man that I know I am capable of being, with that in mind growth is a personal focus for me in the next year.  I still have a long ways to go; I will put in the work, I will give the effort required to overcome these challenges.

This past year also held a very unique personal experience for me.  After 33 years of running from the fact that I did not have a relationship with my biological father; I said goodbye to him in my own way.  His passing marked the end of the chapter in terms of ever hoping to connect with him, to understand and know him, to understand why he never wanted to be in my life…..  It also gave me my first footing on knowing anything about him with certainty; I certainly know that he is gone.  He was 66 years old; I have a good idea of how he spent those 66 years.  He marked a blueprint for me how life should not be lived, what not to do.  I will use that as a source for what I need to do for all the days of my life.  I will honor his legacy by not spending one breath living the way he did.

As 34 approaches, my sights are set, my goals in focus, equipped with these tools: honesty, tenacity, resolve, discipline--these are the things I will be using.