19 Years Ago

19 Years Ago

I remember listening to that message like it was yesterday.

Back when people still had answering machines…

It was the beginning of my sophomore year of high school

My best friend and I had just caught wind of a party that

my wife

was having… Well she wasn’t my wife yet

and it’s kind of a long story.

But I remember that message, how could I forget.

It changed my life forever.

It was from her, the one, my partner, my heart, my soul,

my everything.

We had been playing basketball in his driveway.

Talking about all the things happening

at school.

All the things we wanted to be a part of, but how?

We knew that a party was happening

we knew we wanted to go, but how?

It wasn’t like we had been invited..

Then we went to my house, the light was blinking.

I checked the message, and it was my wife.

It was the moment that changed my life.

We were invited.

Rewind in time, I was in Biology class.

But it should have been Chemistry….

On the first day when the teacher

told us where our seats are..

I walked by her at the call of my name

and announced “Superstar”……

She didn’t know it,

but I was talking about her.

That was the moment before the moment that changed

my life.

Do you remember the moment before the moment?

My wife left me a message

on the answering machine, 19 years ago.

It’s kind of a long story.

One full of the kind of undeniable love that knows

no bounds.

It’s the kind of story you build your life around

and pour every fiber of your being into.

I get chills when I think about it.

I just got  a text message from my wife

no matter how technology evolves

it doesn’t matter.

Some things never change…..

I just got a text from my wife

she takes my breath away, I got chills.

Times may come and go and things may change,

but my love never will……

So Much To Learn......

The Green Book Materials from Eliot Rausch + Phos Pictures on Vimeo.

The Master - Li-Young Lee

Just a measure of perspective here.  This journey of poetry is very much an exercise of self discovery.  Can I summon the medium to convey in words my thoughts and emotions.  If you've read any of my previous posts you'll see that I am working on it.  Sometimes that work looks like connecting with one of the masters, for me that is Li-Young Lee.  I particularly enjoy this one, I hope you do as well.

Here's to the next step in this amazing journey!

Have You Prayed

When the wind

turns and asks, in my father’s voice,

Have you prayed?

I know three things. One:

I’m never finished answering to the dead.

Two: A man is four winds and three fires.

And the four winds are his father’s voice,

his mother’s voice . . .

Or maybe he’s seven winds and ten fires.

And the fires are seeing, hearing, touching,

dreaming, thinking . . .

Or is he the breath of God?

When the wind turns traveler

and asks, in my father’s voice, Have you prayed?

I remember three things.

One: A father’s love

is milk and sugar,

two-thirds worry, two-thirds grief, and what’s left over

is trimmed and leavened to make the bread

the dead and the living share.

And patience? That’s to endure

the terrible leavening and kneading.

And wisdom? That’s my father’s face in sleep.

When the wind

asks, Have you prayed?

I know it’s only me

reminding myself

a flower is one station between

earth’s wish and earth’s rapture, and blood

was fire, salt, and breath long before

it quickened any wand or branch, any limb

that woke speaking. It’s just me

in the gowns of the wind,

or my father through me, asking,

Have you found your refuge yet?

asking, Are you happy?

Strange. A troubled father. A happy son.

The wind with a voice. And me talking to no one.

What I Missed

What I Missed

This morning as you lay sleeping

after I kissed you goodbye

I quietly made my way out.

You lay peaceful in dreams,

your day begins later than mine.

I made my way to the car.

I won’t be there when you rise.

Tell me what dreams did you have,

what’s on your mind?

Thoughts of you stream to me as I drive.

I arrive at work and make my way

in.

I think to myself,

has your day yet to begin?

I sit down and begin to ply my craft.

Thoughts of you filling my mind

Are you up yet, are you eating breakfast?

What is the story you’re telling?

And do you know what……..

I continue my way through;

attending to the things requiring my

attention.

All the while curious

Have you begun to create your dreams

for today?

What form do they take, are you

caught in a story, are you making

an escape?

The minutes and hours pass by.

With each breath I think of you and

wonder what it is you are doing

in this moment….

as I wish I was with you.

Stories, drawings, the fantasy

you create every day.

All the wonder you find

all the boundaries you push

What foes have you fended off

Tell me what does a princess wish…..

What is the score in your game?

Moona, Gil, Waiter, Princess Moona, Baltimore……

Mr. Gruper can’t wait.

All the brilliance you create while you play.

These are the things that I miss…..

While I am away.

The great choices you make

all the risks you dare take.

All the fall downs and

getups…

The tears and the laughs

as you learn on your way.

The minutes pass through

my hands. 

How high did you jump

how fast did you twirl?

My world made whole by two boys and two girls.

When I measure the balance

I know where it stands at the end of the day.

As I go to work in the morning and come home

at night.

I know I missed everything…

While I was away.

Can I Get Up?

As the shadows of the morning
slowly begin to lift

The silence is rewarded
with a tiny voice
offering a gift.

Can I get up....

Mom, Mom, can I get up?

At first just a statement
Growing into question

Mommy, can I get up?

Held closely to his bed
until words set him free.
One day in the not so distant future
he may not be so quick to obey.

Mommy, can I get up?

Rise little one and give life to this day.

Acceptdance

Acceptdance

Intersect

Subject

Detect

Dissect

Reflect……

Respect or Object?

Collect or Deflect?

Accept or Reject?

Select or Eject?

Intersect

Reflect……

Accept

Effect

Reflect……………

Accept

Protect

Respect

Affect…..

Traject…….

Reflect…….

Accept…….

Little Hero

I Don't Wear a Watch

I don't wear a watch

Imperfections fade to black
telling me all the time.

No need for a compass to navigate
When I look to my right
I know which course is mine to take.

Each step forever intertwined
makes it clear to see.

Those in my family sleeve
get only the best of me.

No map tells where I'm going
Letters on me plot my course to center
every time...

Broken scars, elegantly beautiful, typed with intention.

My life's story begins on my soul and extends to my right.

I don't wear a watch..
I know the second to the minute
Give only my best is my tribute.

If you look to my right
you will
see it all so clear.

Miracles carried on the wings of an angel..

A New Course

For some unknown reason to me I've been bitten by the bug of poetry. 
Lyrical realities cast on this screen, if I keep working eventually you'll know what I mean. 
Stay tuned as I search for the path to set free, all of the wonder I've kept trapped inside me.

Enjoy if you like, laugh if you must.
Discovery is the journey, in that I trust.

Two Thoughts

Two Thoughts

Two thoughts, mere words on a page moved me to begin this.

1) Write love letters to your family.
2) Write - Your life's story is worth recording.

I know I will never finish this
the journey stretches into the great unknown.

I will begin with one, then another, then more.

This is my story and with words it will begin to unfold.

Every word is as true as any mystery.

Each feeling as real and deep as the sea.

Know without knowing and you will understand my history.

These words as fabric......
Weaving me

Check This Out

I think this site is pretty awesome, maybe you will as well.

This is another medium I am working to be active in: http://danielj-v.tumblr.com/

The More I Open My Eyes, The More I See.

Peace!

Let It Be

I am bit by bit embracing the genius of The Beatles.  While I might like to post about what a great song, Rocky Raccoon is, because it is very awesome.  This post is about Let It Be, as a mantra and as a song that captures the ultimate philosophy for living life.

I regret to admit that Saturday was probably my worst day as a father.  There were a couple of instances where I simply lacked patience or understanding.  Each of these uniquely led to me ultimately expressing frustration.

I reflected on what brought me to these situations and in each moment it was simply because I could not find within myself the resources to be effective in the moments that required me to be.  I was frustrated that I did not have the capabilities required to influence circumstance towards a different direction. 

I could not let them just be, I for whatever reason tried to force the river in another direction.  I know you can't move the river, let it be.

I am learning each day and I recognize the gap between where I am and where I am going.  With each step ignorance is incrementally reduced.

When I find myself in times of trouble...... Let it be.

No greater words of wisdom, let it be.

Do yourself a favor and give Let It Be a spin, you'll be happy you did. 

When that is done give Rocky Raccoon a try.  The question I have about this track is this, is Paul channeling folk singer on this, or is it that all folk singers are channeling Paul?  Genius.