5

Reconstruction for me begins with deconstruction.  The process has begun, the pain assures me it's working.  Call it meconstruction if you will.  Today like yesterday is a new opportunity to grow, learn, strengthen.  Not to mention unlearn, let go, and forgive.

Some things cannot be given, we must take them from within ourselves and apply them.

Live well, laugh often, love much!

Peace

4

Horton Hears a Whew!

In honor of the 10 lbs I've added so far during our 32 week journey of expecting.  I've decided to pursue a path towards reducing the weight gain in the coming weeks.  While there are many paths one can take in the pursuit of weight loss, there is really only one choice, P90X!

Day 1 - Back and Chest a wonderful journey into the land of pullups and pushups.  Bootcamp memories flooding back all during the agony.  As I type this my arms are barely capable of extending, Day 1 is in the books.  The journey is underway.  Blood, sweat, and tears here I come.

BRING IT!

3

Why?

Last night after bath and reading a book I was headed out of the house to go to a concert with some buddies.  My wife was going to be with the children.  This isn't something that happens with any regularity in our house.  As I explained to our son and daughter that I would be coming back while they were sleeping it was clear that my son was fine with the situation, but my daughter kept asking me why I was leaving.  Why daddy?  Daddy's leaving, why? You're leaving daddy? Why?

Sorry is the dad who when asked a great question, doesn't have a great answer.

I knew that nothing I could tell her would make sense of me leaving the house.  To me it simply reflected that for her this was something out of the ordinary. 

I'll make sure to keep it that way.

Brilliant

2) Inspiration Comes From Outside of Me

I like to think that I am a self motivated person, and that may or may not be the case.
I know that for me inspiration comes from outside of me.  This clip is from a more commercialized source than I might like, but it isn't about me.

Check this out:

1

Sunday afternoon and I am out on a soccer field running with a mix of 3-6 year olds.  The breeze carries with it the subtle nip of cool, like when you open the fridge door, it feels great.

The children run like a miniature flock, shuffling here and there, then a break away - goal!

Line them up and let them have at it again.

There is laughing and smiling all over, abundantly joyful for everyone.

Why is it then that when my son wants to extend the play with his friends to tackling and rolling around do I feel compelled to intervene and call these boys back to the real world, with it's rigid expectations?

I know boys and girls run and tumble, tackle and roll.  My only concern is if someone gets hurt..

Funny, we wanted him to play soccer for the team camaraderie, the social growth, the exercise, and the list goes on and on.  Yet when he takes to path of natural expression of physicality I call him back.  Back to my unrealistic expectations that boys play, but not too rough.

I'm learning to let it go and let things take their natural course.

Renewed - Thanks JR for the push!

A writing a day challenge.  We are close to 65 days away from the next biggest moment in our life as a family.  We will soon be welcoming our next miracle and the time is flying by in a way never before experienced.

I know I haven't taken near the time I'd like to reflect on what this means and what I hope to bring to this moment.  That in itself disappoints me, but I know redemption comes with commitment. 

To that end I am challenging myself to write and give narrative to the stories, thoughts, and dreams that fill my heart.  Of course my goal is to write something daily that is not filler or fluff, but something that reveals.

If anyone is reading this, enjoy the ride.