Step By Step

This past Friday night was an incredible moment for me and my family. Our son took his first steps, well 5 of them to be exact. At the time we were on the ground playing, and he stood un-assisted for a little while. The standing isn't out of the norm, but then he started to move, and before I knew it, had taken a couple steps. I quickly called out to my wife, who was in another room and was about to miss this incredible moment. Thankfully she came in just in time to see him take the last couple of steps.

It was amazing, he walked, and then he was done, back on the ground. With no real need to try it again, try as we might to entice him to. He had triumphed, and now he was good to go back to crawling. What I found to be most amazing about it was, I thought in my mind that one day we would create an opportunity for him to take his first steps, you know in true helicopter parent fashion. Have the whole thing set up, but he spontaneously seized the moment and did it on his own.

It seems for me that I often attempt to fabricate the great moments in life. Setting the stage for a grand happening. What was so great about this was that it wasn't planned or expected, instead it just happened.

I think for me there was a small lesson, to let go, let moments happen and be present enough in them to enjoy, but not interrupt.

Making the Time to Take the Time

In a world that seems to be forever adding to our to-do lists, it seems ever more convenient for me to let slip the moments that truly matter. For some reason I have the tremendous capacity to mock time, and make the irrelevant the highest priority, and place what should be the highest priority on the back burner. I know a talent to envy, but this is my burden.

So today as I contemplated going to the gym to work out over my lunch hour, a thought kept coming back to my mind. Today at my sons daycare was splish splash day. I am in need of exercise, but this is my sons first exposure to a pool.

What to do, what to do....

Fitness be damned, I need to see my son in action. Especially when considering this is his first week back to daycare this summer. And he just got tubes in his ears, no, now I am sure, I better get on my way.

So on my way over I keep having these visions of my son in the pool laughing and playing, just having a great time. These visions were soon confronted with the reality that when I got to the daycare and found the little ones in the pool, he wasn't there. A simple inquiry leads me to where he is, in the infant room with one of the ladies, crying and obviously very upset.

Now I am really glad I came to check on him. The worst sound I have ever felt is my son crying. I am never ok with it, and always want to do whatever I can to fix what seems to be wrong.

But here he is, tears down his cheeks, and I am really kind of shocked. He has always enjoyed daycare, at least I think, based on what little he can tell me, it seems good. I pick him up, and the crying stops, I find out that he didn't really have much fun in the pool, and I think now that Dad is here we can try it out again and have a better experience.

2 minutes later in the pool he will not release my shirt, I understand this is not what he wants to be doing. I pick him up, we watch the other children a little, and I see in his eyes that he really isn't having much fun.

This crushes me, my little man is not enjoying the place he is going to be for the rest of the day. Immediately I take him inside, get him dried off, change his diapers and clothes. Then I think of another idea to help him feel good about where he is, we will go play together in the work rooms they have.

Surely this will help him forget what the last 30 minutes has held. We crawl around all over and lots of laughs and fun. We play with almost all of the other children, and with the workers, now we are having our normal fun. So after being there about an hour I decide, we are in a good place now, I better get back to work.

My mind quickly recalls how his mom has described what happens when she leaves him in the morning, but conveniently I decide that only happens when she leaves, and he will be fine when I go. No sooner did I tell him I had to go and motioned to set him down did the crying start. I pick him back up, no crying, I kiss him and tell him goodbye, go to bend down, and again I am crushed.

Now I am in a predicament, I need to leave, but my son doesn't want me to. Several more attempts with the same result. Finally I let one of the ladies hold him as I left, but I am still dealing with how watching him cry as I left made me feel. CRUSHED.....

Which helps me recall that I should have sympathized more with my wife as she explained how hard it was to leave him on Monday his first day back. Instead I was multi-tasking and only partially listening.

Make the time, to take the time and be present in what is truly important, you only get one chance at these moments, don't apologize and ask for a redo, make the moment count.